Emotional Rollercoasters

For years I've tried not to be too openly emotional  in front of friends and family and it seems to have worked. I don't think I've picked up a reputation for being someone who will burst into tears at the drop of a hat, or even as someone who doesn't have any emotion. I think I've struck a nice balance, but of course those closest to me would probably tell you I'm talking crap and I'm a big girls blouse, hopefully that's not the impression I give though.

In the past there were only a few things that could get the tears flowing, two that I can think of right now just so happen to be movies, and even then only one scene in each movie.

First up is 'Click'. I'm not a big fan of Adam Sandler, really really not a big fan. He is one of those people that seems to play the same role in every movie and to top it off he tries too hard to be funny. That said I still watch his movies and do laugh at a lot of it. Anyways, click. He goes fast forwards through life with a remote control and ends up a sad and lonely man - bummer. The part that gets me every time, well the two times I've watched it, is when he's lying in the rain dying of a heart attack. For some reason I just well up and start blubbing like a teenage girl watching Beaches.

The other movie that gets me going is Armageddon, partly because of the terrible story line but mostly the scene on the asteroid where Brucey baby has the conversation with his daughter. Emotional stuff.

Moving swiftly on. A few recent events have made me realise that I'm not actually as stable emotionally as I thought I was.

First up there is a wedding. Not just any wedding but my wedding to my gorgeous wife. I'm not sure how many other guys felt like this (mostly because most of the guys I know that are married don't talk about emotions - they're 'for girls') but the moment I turned round and saw Emma coming down the aisle towards me I welled up. I was so close to bursting into tears of joy that I had to turn away for a moment and compose myself.

Then there was the birth of my baby daughter. Every man who has a kid knows how emotional this is. In fact just today I saw this 'universal birth reaction assessment tool' from the guys at www.howtobeadad.com. Unfortunately it doesn't have the reaction I had when Willow was born. From my vantage point* I saw my little girl get lifted onto her mums chest and I just broke down. Tears were streaming, there were some strange noises coming from somewhere down near the bottom of my ribs and to top it off I couldn't see a bloody thing. Emotional does not do justice to that feeling of overwhelming happiness.

Now whenever there is a sad story about a baby or young child on the telly I get really emotional. I know that it is because I'm a dad and that's what dads (and mums) do, we get emotional because we have something to relate to, something to look at and think 'I really love that little human there and would not want anything to ever happen to it'.

*err, yeah, I was stood at my wifes head the whole time - there was stuff going on down there I did not need to see.

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